Anti-ClemPson stuff! Here! Now!
December 1985, Atlanta Journal-Constitution
For today’s column, I have decided to give myself a belated Christmas present. Here is what I am going to do:
Just like last year, when Tech beat Georgia in football, I received a rash of letters from Tech fans who felt the need to gloat.
Most of these letters – or at least the ones written by individuals who were literate enough to make sense – began by saying, “You obnoxious redneck:”
I usually do not continue reading past that point and I throw the letters into the trash, along with the letters from people who think they are God and want to grant me an exclusive interview.
But this year’s letters were particularly nasty, and I decided what I would do today is run portions of the letters and then answer them in my noted caustic and clever manner. The kicker is that when more Tech fans write me letters as a result of today’s column, I am going to ignore them so that I get the last word.
Caustic and clever, right? Roll the presses boys, here we go:
Tom Brewer of Decatur writes: “Try to look on the bright side: The Little Hairless Pooches played four decent teams – Bama, Florida, Auburn, and Tech – and actually beat one of them.”
HOW ABOUT TECH vs. UT at SODDY-DAISY?
Wait one minute, Tom. Want to know about patsy schedules? Tech played such powers as Virginia and Duke and NC State and Wake Forest, not to mention such crowd-pleasers as Western Carolina and the University of Tennessee at Soddy-Daisy or some such place.
Plus, Tech is dropping Tennessee and Auburn from its schedule and will become the first school in history to make its stadium smaller so the visiting fans won’t outnumber the Tech loyalists.
Somebody who signed his or her name “Undecipherable in Young Harris” writes: “Two in a row, you obnoxious redneck.”
Go drown in a vat of Varsity grease, Undecipherable. Want some numbers? Here are some numbers: 16 and 6. That is Vince Dooley’s record against Tech, Calculus-Breath.
A.J. Venable of Atlanta offers the following thought: “You and most Georgia supporters are terrible winners. I don’t know why we should expect different behavior when you lose.”
JACKET FANS ARE SUCH A CLASS ACT, OF COURSE
Put this on your slide rule and compute it, A.J.,: “Tech fans are known for being obnoxious.” Know who said that? His initials are B.C. and he wears sunglasses.
From G.N.we get, “The other day, I was following this beat-up, run-down piece of car. On the back there was a Georgia decal. You bunch of ignoramuses can’t even make enough money with a Georgia education to drive decent cars.”
I know the car. It’s the one Georgia gave Tyrone Sorrells if he’d promise to transfer to Tech.
Mildred (I couldn’t make out her last name) from Macon pens: “Face it Bulldogs, You just ain’t got no class.”
Face it, Mildred. You obviously ain’t eat up with it yourself.
And, finally, from someone who identified himself as “Tech Student, Class of ’87”: “Even more important than the football game is the fact I’ll make more money my first year out of school than the average Georgia grad will make the first 10.”
Dear Mr. Big Bucks: I showed Dorsey Hill, the worlds biggest Georgia fan and rather successful entrepreneur, your letter and his response was, “If they mess with me, I’ll buy the Tech campus and turn it into a parking lot.”
We shall resume this argument in 11 months.
— Lewis Grizzard