You Might Be a Gamecock If…

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy…

If the best season your school has ever had involves a loss to Navy, you might be a Gamecock.

If you rival has a 30+ winning advantage in the series and you STILL think your program is on more solid ground, you might be a Gamecock.

If your program can take two coaches that won national champions elsewhere (Dietzel and Holtz) and turn them into losers, you might be a Gamecock.

If the ancient past begins right after a loss, you might be a Gamecock.

If you can argue that your team is much better than your rival ten ways to Sunday in every category but the score (and believe it), you may be a Gamecock.

If you borrowed your entrance song from a movie and borrowed your fog-filled run onto the field from another program, and have the audacity to claim yourself as the REAL USC, you might be a Gamecock.

If you can’t say “Steve Spurrier” without bowing you head in awe of the greatness
that is the man, you might be a Gamecock.

If someone substituted Steve Spurrier with Chuck Norris in the hilarious thread making the rounds, and you said “now THAT makes much more sense,” you might be a Gamecock.

If you think the old Bill Braskey skit on SNL was based on Steve Spurrier, you might be a Gamecock.

If you think Lou Holtz is a great college football analyst and is putting Mark May and Rece Davis to shame, you might be a Gamecock.

If you think that your ex-coach leaving five separate programs on probation “isn’t really a trend – just coincidental,” you might be a Gamecock.

If you consider a two-year run of bowl victories the “glory years,” you might be a Gamecock.

If your team ranks 16th in all time losses nation-wide and you still think you have a “storied program,” you might be a Gamecock.

If you continually argue how good your conference is when you have done nothing to contribute to it, you might be a Gamecock.

If you argue how weak the ACC is even when you have an all-time winning record against only one of the teams, you might be a Gamecock.

If the score of a game is only one of five indicators you use to decide who
has the better team, behind conference affiliation, your coach’s past success,
the number of fans you put in the stands, and where you rank in recruiting,
you might be a Gamecock.

If your fight song is appropriately titled “Step to the Rear,” you might be
a Gamecock.

If you can’t spell SEC, you might be a Gamecock.

If your first bowl win EVER came in the era of corporate sponsorship and was
named after an auto parts store and wasn’t named simply after a fruit, a fabric,
a sweetner or a flower, you might be a Gamecock.

If you never grow tired of saying “wait til next year,” you might be a Gamecock.

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